Your Favorite Band Sucks, And So Does Mine

Oh no, I can hear you saying, another dumbass blogger music snob post about how much band X is so much better than band Y because blah blah blah.


Is this going to go that way? Maybe not. Stay with me. Just because I don't like what you like does not make me a music snob, honest. It is a little tale about a certain band, enjoying a recent resurgence in popularity, which is loathed by your humble blogger.

Let's set this up with a little story.....


Recently, I was at a charity walk in my town. The festive atmosphere had food, activities, a DJ spinning the most common songs one could imagine, and even a live band. The band, whose name escapes me, was a local outfit of older guys (I'm guessing late 40's and up), played a variety, if one could call it that, of early 70's soft rock. (Think "A Horse With No Name", "Ventura Highway" etc.) Funny that they and the DJ seemed incredulous that the crowd wasn't responding as they would have hoped. Call me crazy, but I don't think America (the original artists of the songs mentioned) got that much of an enthusiastic response when they did that song in 1972, so I'm not sure these guys got an atypical reaction. Anyway, the band wrapped up their brief set, thanked the crowd, and was rewarded with polite, if scattered, applause. At this point, Mr. DJ picked up the mic to fill the air, and this is where our story really begins.


A friend of mine and I were chatting as the raffle finished, while in the background the DJ had just finished spinning that perennial crowd fave "Cotton Eyed Joe" [imagine my eyes rolling right now, as yours might be]. It was at this point we heard the unmistakable intro to a song everyone knew, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'".


"Finally", my friend said, "some real music!", and he looked at me in the way you would when you expect a certain unconditional approval, maybe an agreeing nod of the head, perhaps even a "Hell Yeah!". My response was somewhat different.

"Oh man", I said "I fucking hate Journey".

As soon as the words left my lips I looked around anxiously. Not because of the sentiment I'd expressed, but because the event was loaded with kids, parents, grandparents, etc. It would be pretty embarrassing to have had some little kids hear that. Luckily, none did.


My friend was taken aback slightly, and asked why I thought the way I did. "They represent everything that is bad about music" was my response (which I have to admit was said through almost clenched teeth), and we moved on to other topics. Upon reflection, it led me to thinking though. Why do I have such vitriol for this band in particular?


I began to think about my opinions on Journey, and music in general. One thing I've noticed is that when it comes to music, there seem to be two kinds of people:


Group A - Listen to the radio, absorbs whatever is played, might make a purchase or two on occasion, but rarely ventures outside the "mainstream". Music is an important part of their life, but functions as a background to their lives as other things are going on. Doesn't read any type of music press, either online or in print. Rejects most new trends until they are assimilated into the mainstream. Think "I hate that rap garbage....but that 'Bust A Move' is sure a fun tune!" Most of these people really enjoy stuff like Journey, Bon Jovi, and Carrie Underwood.


Group B - Listens to what is popular, but seeks out other options, and is not averse to looking beyond the mainstream. Might buy an album or download a song despite never having heard it provided there is a good buzz around it. Keeps up on developments in music (maybe not quite as much as they age). It's safe to assume these folks are into old school stuff like The Ramones, Run-DMC, or R.E.M. while keeping abreast of newer bands like Arcade Fire or Vampire Weekend. Investigates a new trend before rejecting it outright.



Belonging to either group isn't absolute, nor is there any problem with it. It just boggles my mind sometimes how, when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who fall into the first group (you probably noticed by now that I consider myself to be firmly in the second) I am forced to defend my opinions as if I was some psycho radical hippie junkie dirtbag punk. Explaining to people that you don't particularly have any care whatsoever for Bon Jovi can elicit a dumbfounded reaction. I can almost hear them thinking, "Jeez, Bon Jovi is nice and popular. Why wouldn't you like them?" (For the record, I don't dislike Bon Jovi, and recall having a really great time signing "Livin' On A Prayer" while drunk and dancing in a bar one night...., but let the record show that I do not own anything the band has ever produced.)

Which brings me back to Journey. I've always had a particular distaste for what Rolling Stone dubbed "Faceless" rock back in the late 70's/early 80's, referring to the era where bands like Journey, Toto, Foreigner, Kansas, Styx, etc. ruled the roost without any particular distinguishing characteristics. To me, Journey was the worst of this bunch - a bunch of clearly talented musicians who resorted to playing bland, generic, risk-free Rock (tm) aimed for the masses. While obviously not the first, nor the last group, to be guilty of aiming for success without artistic merit, they were easily the most egregious example of the era. Throw in the ridiculous album cover art and the cheesy ballads, and it was enough to make me want to scream.

Thankfully, the group faded away as musical trends evolved. Unfortunately, in the age of instant nostalgia, the band is hot again (thanks in part to "Don't Stop Believin'" being prominently featured in The Sopranos finale), with a new lead singer pulled from a cover band (I'm not making this up) and a new CD, and here we go again.

What also grinds my gears is that I've never run into anyone who claims Journey is a great band, you know? It's always along the lines of "They're good, they had those songs I liked back in the day", but never have I run into anyone who would passionately defend the group. To me, that speaks volumes. Perhpas the comments to this post will attract some defenders. I say bring 'em on.

Five Years On....

......since "Mission: Accomplished". Where are we now?:

3900 dead American soldiers

Countless dead Iraqi civilians

Gas headed for $4 per gallon

An economy in free fall

Bin Laden? Still hanging around.

No WMD's

No connnection between Iraq and 9/11

Squandered post-9/11 goodwill toward the US

No end in sight.

Heckuva job, Georgie.

This Sums It Up

Not to tip my politictal hand, but this quote from a poster on dailykos today pretty much hits the nail squarely on the head:

Saying that Hillary has Executive Branch experience is like saying Yoko Ono was
a Beatle.

Damn.

dailykos

Rock And Roll (TM) Hall Of Fame Inducts Madonna; Heads Explode

As you've no doubt heard by now, the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame turned a few heads with the announcement of the 2008 inductees. Let's review them now:

Farm Aid-er John Mellancamp (no word as to whether or not he lets them use the whole "Cougar" thing on his bust)

Philly Soul producers Kenny Gamble andf Leon Huff

Leonard Cohen

The Dave Clark Five

The Ventures

Madonna

What?! Madonna?! She's not a rocker, dammit! There was a fair degree of outrage from forum posters and some critics regarding this offense against all that is rock. MAdonna is a freakin' pop star, who got played on Top 40 Radio, and was liked by teenaged girls! (Kinda like The Beatles?)

Everyone is missing the point: The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame is a total joke!

Come on, this is supposed to be about Rock and Roll! What does the name mean if not anti-establishment, non-conforming, piss off your parents rebellion? Can anything be more staid ans stuffy than an officvail Hall of Fame, with only worthy inductees each year, along with the accompanying "controversy" when your favorite band didn't make the cut? What a crock. I know that the ship of integrity sailed quite some time ago for most of the music business, but seeing these bloated egos get together every year and pat themselves on the back is simply something that can't be tolerated.

The "museum" section of the Hall is a neat thing to have - I'm all for preserving artifacts from bygone eras to give people some kind of perspective on past history, but the whole bust and plaque garbage is uneeded and unnecessary.

Congraulations Material Girl!

Classic Album Corner

Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique (1989)

If ever there was a candidate for the One Hit Wonder file, it should have been the Beastie Boys. The novelty of being three White Jewish rappers who took the music scene by storm in 1986-87 by combining hard rock riffs over alternating whiny raps seemed destined to play itself out quickly. The lack of a quick follow-up record ensured that the what-have-you-done-for-us-lately music public would soon remove the boys from consciousness and move on to the next Big Thing. “Fight For You Right (To Party)” was destined to become a drunken idiot anthem for the ages, and Licensed To Ill becoming a quirky historical footnote.

In the aftermath of supporting Ill, the Beastie Boys relocated to Los Angeles and hooked up with the Dust Brothers production team. The resulting sessions produced an album that was such a departure from Ill that it alienated many fans, who were expecting Licensed To Ill 2. The sales of Boutique paled in comparison, with no radio ready single nor any breakthrough wacky video to pump it. Despite that, the record was a perfect evolutionary step for the maturing Boys, and remains not only one of the best hip hop records ever made, but one of the best, period. It slowly became a sort of an unsing favorite of many Beastie Boys fans, and now takes it's place among the group's bets work.

The record simply could not be made today – the multitude of samples, taken before each had to be cleared, is staggering. (Click here for a listing of every sample used for details). The Boys love of funky soul 70’s era music is immediately apparent as the album opens (and closes) with “To All The Girls…”, a dedication to the females of the world, and a nod to the horny boy attitude they were known for (but eventually grew out of). The rat-a-tat drums sound pounds in as "Shake Your Rump" opens, kicking off the record in force, and sets the tone as the boys blend alternating raps with funky samples. "Johnny Ryall" tells the story of a now-homeless one time blues legend (fictional), while "Egg Man" blends the familiar shower scene music from Psycho with the theme from Jaws, while at the same time featuring one of the first solcially conscious rhymes the Beasties ever dropped - "You make a mistake/ you judge a man by his race/you go through life/with egg on your face".

One important side note: during the three years on inactivity, the Beasties became embroiled in a dispute with Def Jam, their original label. At one point, it was alleged that DJ head Russell Simmons was going to put out his own "Beastie Boys" record, comprised of studio demos and assorted items, until Public Enemy's Chuck D set him straiught by informing him that the stuff prepared for Paul's was some of the hottest hip hop he'd ever heard. Simmons backed off, as the group signed on with Capitol records, who ended up viewing this record as a disappointment, clearly expecting Ill level sales.

"Hey Ladies", "High Plains Drifter", "Car Thief" and "Looking Down The Barrell Of A Gun" all utilized the variety of samples to perfection, but the real masterpiece of the record is the 12 minute epic "B-Boy Bouillabaise". Less like one song than an amalgamation of several disconnected ideas, the song works, as the varied tempos and individual raps conmbine to make a tune the likes of which hip hop had never seen. A personal fave of mine is the "A Year And A Day" which features a knockout sample of The Isley Brothers' "Who's That Lady".

The record has stood the test of time, and is all the more unique when listened to today when you take inot account the sheer volume of samples, and the outstanding work done by the Dust Brithers and Mario Caldato in weaving all the elements together to produce such a memorable album.

The group took things to another level on later releases, playing all their own instruments and hitting it big with Check Your Head and Ill Communication. Their latest release, The Mix-up, eschews rap altogether in favor of instrumentals, and recently won a Grammy.

Beastie Boys official site
Paul's Boutique Samples and References List

Journey To The Center Of My DVR - Idiocracy

Idiocracy (2006)
Starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard

Directed by MIke Judge

Rated R

Now this one was easy to miss - Fox did all it could to ensure nobody would ever see this film. The release was confined to a small number of screens on both coasts, and quickly disappeared. Only via its appearance on cable has it been able to reach a wide audience, and quickly reach cult status.

It's not exactly clear why the studio would not put any effort behind this movie - it's a Mike Judge project. Judge, best known for TV shows Beavis and Butt-head, King Of The Hill, as well as the great cult film Office Space, seemingly has enough name recognition and credibility to get behind. Could it be that the film, a brilliant science fiction piece whereby stupid people, via pure volume breeding, totally take over the country, just might go completely over the heads of their audiences? Pandering to the lowest common denominator is something Fox specializes in, and they might have been thinking that this movie would have sailed right over the heads of the movie going crowd.

The film details how low level career military man Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson) is chosen to take part in an experiment whereby he is placed in a state of suspended animation, and revived at a later date, with the idea of creating super soldiers of the future. As this is a movie, Something Goes Wrong, and Wilson (along with local hooker Rita, played by Maya Rudolph) remains "frozen" for 500 years. They awaken to a world which has been overrun by stupidity, making the terminal underachiever and the hooker the de facto smartest people in the country. The opening of the film, which explains how the country (and presumably the world) ended up in this state is hilarious, and somewhat disturbing as one can totally see the scenario happening.
Navigating his way through an endless supply of utter morons who speak "hybrid of hillbilly, Valley girl, and inner-city slang" (and who tell him on more than one occasion after hearing him speak in full sentences that he "talks like a fag"), Wilson manages to get one man, Frito (Dax Shepard) to tell him of a Time Machine. Bauers obviously assumes that technology has advanced to the point where time travel is a reality, but, alas, runs into many obstacles trying to find his way back home. I won’t give any spoilers here, but suffice it to say Joe and Rita don’t have a lot of smooth sailing in trying to succeed in 2505, or return to the present.

The film is smart, funny, and a relatively short 84 minutes. Judge, as he has in his other projects, doesn’t lay it on too thick and mock the future Americans for their stupidity. Indeed, it seems as if he has pity on them, since they can’t be held accountable for their IQ, and Judge sort of celebrates their stupidity rather than mock them for it.
See this movie. Aside form the things mentioned above, it’s funny, and that alone should be enough to merit killing an hour and a half. The fact that the movie makes you think a little, or perhaps makes you just a wee bit uneasy, is just a bonus.

Idiocracy (IMDB.com)

"A Failure Pile In A Sadness Bowl"

Patton Oswalt is the man responsible for the above quote, uttered during his brilliant routine found on his latest CD Werewolves and Lollipops. He has proven himself to be one of the best stand-ups working today, injecting some actual intelligence into his routines, which is refreshing in a world which makes Larry The Cable Guy a star (come on, I can understand Ron White, but Larry The Freaking Cable Guy?). In the bit sampled above, he is referring to the KFC Famous Bowl, and the bizarre thought process which led to its invention. The Famous Bowl, for the uninitiated, is simply a combination of an entire KFC meal, dumped in a single bowl as opposed to say, being served in a more traditional manner, like on a plate. Basically, the fat lazy underbelly of America demanded this, and KFC was more than happy to deliver the goods, and it quickly became their best selling item. Oswalt's full take is hilarious, as he goes on to mock, in his consistently funny way, how one would arrive at this wonder of fast food goodness.

The Onion recently decided to ask Oswalt to do something radical - actually try and eat one of these monstrosities. His take on this can be found here, and is well worth checking out.

Links:
Patton Oswalt
The Onion A.V. Club Taste Test Special
KFC famous bowls