Monday, October 23, 2006

Kenny Rogers Cheats - LaRussa Does Nothing?

Let me see if I understand this: Kenny Rogers, who is suddenly the Greatest Pitcher Who Ever Lived, is stupid enough to smear pine tar on his pitching hand during the post-season. The Post-Season, when Tommy LaSorda implores all of us to watch even though our teams have been knocked out, when FOX has 75 cameras, in such places as under the pitchers balls, up the batters nose, and uses shots so tight you can quickly determine if that mole on the players face is pre-cancerous.

The cameras catch it, the announcers talk about it, and, as expected, word reaches the clubhouses. Tony LaRussa even hears his own players coming back to the dugout muttering that the ball was "moving funny". Surely he, The Genius, will react accordingly, have the umpires check out Rogers and eject him, which would result in a huge edge for the Cardinals, right? Getting Kenny tossed in the 2nd inning would be huge for the Redbirds, and could help them steal Game 2 to take a 2-0 edge. There is no possible downside here.

Wrong. he did nothing. Rogers washed his hand, then pitched seven more lights out innings to help Detroit even the Series. It's obvious that Mr. Roaster ("the wood makes it good") must have the pine tar in other places, in addition to his smudged hand, right?

This can only mean one thing - LaRussa didn't want to rock the boat. What would be his rationale for doing nothing, you ask? Simple - one of his guys must be doing something as well. I'm guessing Jeff Suppan. As a Met fan, this theory makes even more sense. How did this guy suddenly become so unhittable, much like Rogers?

I can't wait to see FOX CrotchCam (tm) during Game 4, to see what Suppan has up his sleeve...or under his cap...or under his belt.
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